So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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