okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
