i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
