areolas are like halos for boobs.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize