So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
