omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
