I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
