just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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