Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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