best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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