I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
