I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
