Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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