Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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