So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
