I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
