I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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