therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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