Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
