i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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