I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
