I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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