is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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