they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize