on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
