Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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