ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
