and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize