would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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