Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
