i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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