You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I forget how to act sober
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
