don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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