Who did Billy Mays play for?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think a kid would responsible me up
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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