Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize