I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So. Much. Porn.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
