Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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