he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
