I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
