8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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