on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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