I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
