what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
