I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So much rum. So many feels.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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