i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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