You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
