Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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