I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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