Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
