Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
