You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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