thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
