I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
