We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
