every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize