Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm getting married
To pizza
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
