Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
