help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
