Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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