I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
