this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
