Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
