My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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