I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
