I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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