My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize