i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I think I just sharted jello shots
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