Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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