we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
