i will never coherently bang her
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
