And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
