so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
