worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
