i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
