alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
either way he was missing a nipple.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
