guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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