lets start a swedish sibling band together
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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