Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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