he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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