Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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