is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
